33 Things

I've debated whether to post this or not, but I've recently listened to a podcast (Fountains of Carrots: From Catholic Single Life to the Altar), and they talked about how there are so many books/blogs/podcasts on motherhood, married life... but not very many on single hood. And yet there are so many young people in that season of life, in which they all want to know they are not alone. Plus, there are so many gifts from being single... we just have to see them. So I decided to be vulnerable, and share my heart a little more.

33...

Last weekend was my birthday, and thank goodness I didn't have a cake, cuz I'm pretty sure the fire department would have had to be called with all the candles-33! Haha!! :)  Not sure how I feel about that number... I mean there is nothing special about it. I don't get any new privileges, like driving a car, drinking alcohol, getting my own insurance (ha). Or entering a "new decade." But yet, I still feel a little different... not like that I am older, but maybe more so that I am yet another year away from what I thought my life would be like at this time. One can look at it a couple ways... a small number, really it's not that much in the grand scheme of things. Being in one's 30's is still so young. But then, yet again... when I was younger, back in high school--graduating high school... 33 seemed so far away, and that I would have certain things accomplished by that time. Like being married and having my own children. It's going to be my 15 year class reunion here in a couple months, and when we all graduated... we all had hopes and dreams of what the next years would bring. And yet.. it's not at all like that.

Life is not that perfect fairy tale that stories and movies tell us it's suppose to be. Life doesn't always happen as we dream it will. BUT-- that doesn't mean it's still not great! That doesn't mean our life doesn't count! That doesn't mean everything is a waste until our deepest desires and hopes are fulfilled! Life is a gift--always! And everything we face, everything that we are dealt, everyone who is and who has been a part of our life, everything that defines who we are--- it all has meaning! It's all a beautiful gift!  So for my birthday, I decided to list out 33 things I am thankful for or have learned over these few simple years.



1) FAITH-- I couldn't imagine not believing in God, not having Him to lean on, to trust, to help me in these past years. But more in particular, I am so grateful for my Catholic faith. The older I get, the more and more I am thankful for the beauty of our faith, the infinite love Jesus has for us, and all the graces that God gives us each day!

2) FAMILY-- For my big family, for laughter and memories together, for health... but also just not for each one of them- mom, dad, brother, sisters... but about learning that no family is perfect, no matter what pictures and words may say. Even though it's hard, I'm still thankful for the ugliness, or the hard things that we've dealt with as a family... to teach me that Jesus is always with me, and that everyone has their cross to bear... some may be more hidden than others. And to always look at ways to help carry one another's cross. No one should ever be alone.

3) NURSING-- For my job, for God placing the desire to care for others through nursing in my heart, way back in Kindergarten. I couldn't imagine doing anything else. So much I have learned through the last 12 years of my career... but way more than technical stuff, yes that is important. But the important things of compassion, humility, kindness that one can't learn in school. That those little ways to show you care--- through touch--holding a hand, wiping tears coming down one's cheeks, giving a hug, taking time to listen even when it's past your shift. To being an advocate for the patients who can't speak, asking the hard questions about quality of life versus quantity of life. Thankful I am able to work.. even on those really, really hard days.. because the easy days are easy, but the hard days is what makes one grow and learn.

4) FRIENDS-- Every year on my birthday, I am overwhelmed by my friends-- all of them, through the texts, phone calls, Facetime, letters, gifts, and especially time taken out of their day to spend with me to share love! But also I've seen over these past months more so than ever... those very special ones that are there for you no matter what. That will always listen, cheer me up, listen to me in my frustrations, and through tears, pray for me, hug me, laugh with me. Those that don't judge, and help guide me. Those true, true friends that Jesus blesses each of us with! The beautiful gift of friendship!!

5) RELATIONSHIPS-- This is a deep one. Even though I am not married as I hoped at this stage in my life... I am grateful for the dating relationships I did have... to teach me what I really want in a man.  For the happy memories, for the laughter, for the times I will forever smile back on. For those many heartbreaks and cries to my mom and close friends. For the times I was used, and the times I felt so special. You see all those times will stay with me, and all took a part of my heart. They all made me who I am today, and who I will be as new relationships form. I wouldn't ever wish to take any of the men that came in my life away. Each one of them taught me something different... and someday I will be able to help my daughters and sons as they go through happy times and tough times with their dating lives-- because I will understand. I strongly believe that one has to suffer to be able to truly understand and care for others that are suffering.

6) SIMPLE MOMENTS-- Those sunsets, sunrises, flowers, birds chirping, fresh rain, changing seasons, fresh cut alfalfa, evening trail rides on horses, laying on the ground in the pitch dark watching the stars come out.  All of those moments that make life special, joyful, and just bring one the feeling of peace and that Jesus is hugging us tight in each of those moments.

7) TRAVELING--  I have been so blessed with being able to see so many places in this world of ours! So many beautiful places that God has created just for us to enjoy and treasure! And so many incredible people and friendships that I've made through those travels. I know I would have never had that opportunity if I had a family of my own.

8) LITTLE ONES-- Those very special children that are so close in my heart. The very special little ones of my dear friends that have invited me to be part of their family as "honorary Aunt." It is such a humbling privilege. My Godchildren, my special Peter, my close friends' children-- For being given the gift to be a part of their lives. And the special boy, who taught me so much about love, who is with Jesus now in heaven-- Ryder.
Plus I get to watch and learn from all the different parenting styles, so someday when I am given that gift also-- I will be a pro! haha! :) I will just have lots of mamas to ask advice from!

9) AUNTIE--  For the first time this year, I get to officially be called an Aunt!!  It's truly been a gift to have Ginessa join our family, and more than anything, to watch my brother become a dad. It's one of the most special things that I will treasure forever!

10) LIFE/HEALTH--  Having a second chance at life. My accident two years ago, I was so lucky. My guardian angel was working overtime that morning for sure. To not be paralyzed, or have long term effects-- to have the gift of being able to walk, talk, run, eat, work, etc. There are so many days at work, when bad accidents come in, and they are not given that second chance. I am reminded of how very, very blessed I was. How it could have gone so many other ways. And when days get hard, when I feel like quitting, I pause and say "thank you" instead for protecting me that day.

11) VULNERABILITY-- I feel that one always wants to hear other people's weaknesses, but they themselves become hesitant to be vulnerable. Yet, brokenness is what connects one another. Becoming vulnerable, sharing the hard stuff keeps us all human. Helps us all realize that we can't do it alone. That we need each other, and need a higher power (Jesus) to depend on. That we all deal with similar feelings-- hurt, loneliness, guilt. But it's in those times of vulnerability, when love takes over, when love fills those holes and heals one more than we could every realize.

12) BLESSED IS SHE-- I just love this Catholic woman's community! With daily devotions on the daily Mass readings, married and single women write how the reading has touched them. They are so relate-able, and have increased my devotion to meditating on the readings each day. And the blessing of attending the BIS retreat in Austin, TX with my sister. It was so beautiful, and helped me understand more how we are all Chosen, Blessed, and in my own Brokenness, I am able to be Given... I am able to share in God's love for me to all those around me. "You are my BELOVED daughter, with whom I am well pleased." God is saying that to each one of us!!

13) BOOK STUDY-- I am forever grateful to my mom for asking two girls at her church study table for their email addresses because she said, "My daughter would really love you girls!" Oh how mothers are ALWAYS right!! And from that introduction, I've met the most incredible Catholic women who have become not only girls I discuss books with every week, but they have become such special friends. In which we become vulnerable with each other, share in joys and tears, and have challenged me in my faith. To become a better person, friend, and daughter of God. Thanks Mom! :)

14) COKE ZERO--  Yes, I know it's not very good for me, but sometimes it's okay to enjoy simple pleasures, especially when coffee is not my friend. I need caffeine at work somehow! :)

15) BOOKS-- I love reading, fiction and non-fiction, war stories, saint stories, love stories, catholic stories--- The book is way better than the movie. Every. Single. Time.

16) HOME-- It will be 5 years this summer when I signed my life away to debt! Ha! But I so love my little home. Decorating, gardening, hosting, having space for visitors, a garage!

17) GARDENING--Flowers, herbs, vegetables! One of the best perks of owning a home, able to get my hands dirty.

18) RUNNING-- It's my way of de-stressing, of letting go of all heaviness. I truly believe in the endorphins that running releases. I joke that someday, when I get married, not letting me go run will not be an option (or else he may see a side of me I don't even want to see).

19) PRIESTS--  I recently talked about my love of Holy Thursday, because of many things. But only them is because it is the day Jesus instituted priests so He could Always be with us through the Eucharist! And for them to share Jesus's love for us through the Sacraments. I also am so grateful for the friendships through priests, especially Fr Don. He has been there for me, my family, my friends so many times. My heart spills with gratitude for his friendship!

20) HAND WRITTEN LETTERS-- true, real, hand written cards/letters. The best gift anyone could ever give me. It truly comes right from the heart.

21) CHOCOLATE-- Or more so DARK chocolate!! It's one of my weaknesses, but oh so good!

22) BLESSED MOTHER MARY-- I just love that Jesus gave us His mother as our Mother as He was hanging there on the cross for us. "When Jesus then saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” ~John 19: 26-27.  I also just recently listened to this Lighthouse CD that talked about suffering. (Making Sense out of Suffering) It mentioned how the Blessed Mother followed Jesus throughout His entire Crucifixion, His entire suffering. She was there always. And how she is also with us through all of our suffering too. So never to forget to ask Her for help also. And I strongly believe She brings us closer to her Son, Jesus. Blessed Mother Mary, pray for us.

23) DAILY MASS-- I love going to daily Mass. There is just something different about it. Maybe more intimate, with less people, simpler. But I also love the quiet time, the silence afterwards. It's just something I can't quite describe. And, I just LOVE the children's Mass... all the little voices singing. It's just the best! :)

24) SILENCE-- Yes, I love to be on the go. I love to do things, help people, travel, be with friends, etc! BUT... I need my quiet time to to recharge myself. So those few times, when there is a morning of silence- to read, journal with cup of tea- I am so grateful for that!

25) MUSIC-- I just love music, all of it! Live music is the best, those small little bands. Jazz on the Green is my favorite during the summer. So grateful to have music on the radio. In movies. Concerts. In church. How the saying goes, "it's music to my soul!"

26) LAUGHTER-- It's something we all need. I have no doubt, it is the "best medicine!"

27) GOD WORKS-- I just love more than anything when I hear stories of how God has worked in people's lives. How He intertwines everything just so. How something so little can be the biggest nudge in one's life to something spectacular. Or how something something, like death, needs to occur for something greater to happen! Or it could be something so simple, as giving a hug, or asking, "how are you- how is your heart?" Or how prayer is really so strong and powerful. So never stop looking around for Jesus working in each other's lives.

28) EDUCATION-- Just been thinking how grateful I am for my education. All the way from when I was young, in Kindergarten... those many years in a small country school. Yes, there were small classrooms and number in grades, but I wouldn't have changed it. To high school, the special friends I've met there. And to college. Small classes, great programs, incredible friends! The more I learn about the world, the more I am so grateful for free education, having parents that pushed me to learn and do my best, but also to accept me for me... not ever say "nursing" isn't enough.

29) BASIC ESSENTIALS-- Clean water, clean air, food, home, health care, and love. It might seem so simple, but yet there are so many people that don't have access to these basic things. So grateful for being brought into life here.

30) GRACE-- The grace and mercy that we are given so freely from Jesus. I take it for granted so many times, so many days. But then there are those moments, that stop me in my tracks.. in which I realize... I do not at all deserve any of this, but yet Jesus gives us His love anyways and always!

31) CAMP QUALITY-- When I was asked to help with Camp Quality Heartland 5 years ago, because if they didn't have nurses, camp couldn't exist, I never realized what that would all involve. Yes, it's been a lot of work, a lot of time--- but it's all been so worth it! To make relationships with those children with cancer and their families, to witness so many others donating hours and hours of time. To watch some kids go into remission, but others, even with fighting so hard, not make it. There is joy and sadness. But I know one thing for sure, they have taught me to live each moment to the fullest.

32) CHURCH-- My church, St. Robert Bellarmine. I started going there when I was in college, and it has grown to become my home. I am so grateful for the friendships, love, and kindness that I have received from such a beautiful family.

33) LOVE-- Here I'm not talking about the mushy stuff, the kissing and stuff that is shown all over media. I'm talking about the true, deep, sincere love that is shared between family, friends, people. The "I care so much about you" love. Genuine. The love from the deep part of the heart. Life would be so sad without it.

Bonus #34) QUALITY TIME-- Yes, I would say this is one of my top "love languages." I just love quality time spent with family and friends, deep talks, true talks, genuine time spent together, whether over tea, during a walk, phone call, or road trip . I treasure those moments so much.


Wow... good thing I've did this now. If I waited til older, not sure I could have made it. Ha! :) It was much harder than I thought-- listing 33 things I'm grateful for. (I probably should have added beer ;) lol!  But when I look at all the blessings in my life... I'm like WOW! Thank you Jesus!! You are so so good!!