Not My Will...

Today is my favorite Mass in the Catholic Church all year. It's the entire being of who and what the Catholic Church is. Holy Thursday-- the Initiation of the Holy Eucharist, and of the priesthood. I just love the beauty of the Mass, all from the deep love each priest displays for their vocation, to the washing of the feet, teaching us how we are to serve one another, to the consecration, to the incense during the solemn procession, to the sitting with Jesus in the garden. It's just absolutely beautiful. And I mean beautiful in two ways... in the beauty of the Mass, but also in the beauty of what everything stands for.

I'm not going to go too much into detail, but I wanted to share one thought as I was sitting with Jesus tonight in church before they emptied the church of Him. As He, in the Eucharist, was sitting on the altar... the image that kept coming to my mind was of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane... praying there in His agony, all by Himself, the disciples falling asleep. Him begging His Father to take this cup from Him that He was about to endure... but finishing the prayer with, "Yet not my will, but yours be done." -Luke 22:42 How hard of a prayer that is for me to say, a one full of complete trust. And then Judas coming and betraying Him with a kiss. But then I looked up at the crucifix... with Jesus on it, arms stretched out, and thinking.... This... the cross, the suffering, the betrayal, the loneliness, the forsakenness... as Jesus is praying in the garden tonight, He knows everything that He is about to endure... and why.. for us!! For US! I am not worthy of that kind of love, but yet He gives it freely to each one of us, without question, without anything back in return. The only thing He wants is to let Him love us. His arms stretched out wide, open, kind, soft, strong... full of compassion. Full of love!

Then I get into my car to head home... and what song is playing but "Blessings" by Laura Story.

"'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy

What if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are your mercies in disguise"

And then "Love Has Come" by Mark Schultz

 "And every knee shall bow, every tongue confess

That God is love and love has come for us all

Every heart set free, every one will see

That God is love and love has come for us all"

A revealing that there is a greater thirst than this world can give. Something more than we can ever comprehend. In these next Holy days, maybe we can try to stay closer to Jesus, keep watch with Him, help carry His cross, help wipe the blood off His holy face, stand at the foot of the cross with our Blessed Mother and St John.. and just be still. Just be there in His presence, and know "that God is love and love has come for us all."

A little about Good Friday from a past post too, if you're interested :). Hour of Mercy

Thank you for reading even in my inconsistency. A very Happy and Holy and Blessed Easter to all of you!