the Water of Grace: In the Present

Wow, time flies by. I haven't written in quite some time. Sorry about that if you have been coming and checking for a new post. So thought I'd try to get some of my thoughts down from the last few weeks, to share with all of you. Thanks for coming back to read. :)

I have to admit that I have been feeling like I have been struggling with living in the present. In the today. In the now. My mind gets the best of me, and I catch myself so many times lately, thinking of the past --- past memories, past special moments, past friends, past relationships, past trips, past life. Just the past in general. And I'm not sure why. Why do I keep going back? Yes, it's okay to remember the past. I mean that's what makes us who we are, who we become. But it's not good to dwell on it. I know that. Books tell me that. People tell me that. Yet, sometimes it's just hard. And then I catch myself thinking of the future too... or maybe it's more of an anxious feeling about the unknown. Worrying about what's going to come of situations, of events. Or just not understanding God's will for my life. Everyone has dreams and wishes, We all have plans for our lives, but sometimes those plans don't necessarily line up with the plans God has for us. Or at least not in the same timing that we want. Why is it hard for me to accept that sometimes? Maybe, I have too many things on my plate, and I haven't been able to refill myself to be able to serve others as I want and desire. Maybe I long for situations and relationships to be healed. I'm not sure. I pray about it. I write about it. And then I pray for others, and offer up my unsettling feeling for their struggles instead. Then those moments still come, are still hard for me. But then I tell myself.. STOP! I have so much to be grateful for right NOW. In this moment right now, there are so many blessings all around. Mentally making a list of five things to thank Jesus for in my life right now-- even if it's just the sunrise or sunset, the smell of the new spring flowers, a cup of tea, safe drive home from work, sore legs because I can run, or a phone call from a friend. Last week I was browsing, looking for a rug at Nebraska Furniture Mart, and came upon this saying on a decorative plate. "So many beautiful reasons to be Happy." I stopped. Read it again. And came to the conclusion that was God talking to me, telling me to stop worrying. Stop being anxious. Stop being unsettled. And just live. Live in the moment. Live in the beautiful today. Be Happy! I bought the plate of course... it was the only one there. I couldn't leave it behind. It's sitting on my dresser where I am reminded every morning and night to be grateful!

Something else that I heard a while back, in church, keeps coming into my mind again too, and it's so true --- We can either live in the past, present, or future. Living in the past, usually means we are unhappy, we are holding onto something that makes us angry or sad. Living in the future, means we are worried, scared. We fear what could happen. Living in the present, we are being Aware.... of God, of ourselves, of those around us. We are enjoying God's beauty. His daily blessings, gifts! Then the question to ponder, What "tense" are you living in?

So as in the words of One Republic..
I, I did it all
I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places, the things that I did
With every broken bone, I swear I lived.

I also just finished reading a book. I couldn't put it down, and highly recommend it. It's called, "Take Me With You" by Catherine Ryan Hyde. It's an easy read, about a man, who through unforeseen circumstances, ends up caring for two little boys, that started as strangers, all summer long. Taking them with him to visit many national parks. A summer long vacation. But the love and kindness he showed them, that he shared with them, never ever left their minds, their hearts. And that love and kindness was returned to him years later, in a way he never could have imagined. It reminded me how we never know how much something can touch someone, no matter how small, how big, how easy, or how hard it may seem. It could give them the courage and strength they need to live the rest of their life. But this book also helped me realize more (and maybe helped me realize how much I was thinking in other tenses) to live in the present. A quote from the book, "Memorize this. Enjoy it. Don't miss a moment. No a sight, not a smell, not a sound. Don't let a moment of it go by unenjoyed. Or unmemorized. Or unappreicated." And maybe, just maybe, that's how we should live our entire life. Not just when we think it could be our last, such as a last summer, but all the time. Each day. Every moment.

A little quote to end on, that I came upon...

Yesterday has passed. Tomorrow is an unopened letter. Today is the Gift we have.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now for a few fun photos over the past weeks. :)

I babysat for my friends one afternoon.. and I just loved how all this little man wanted to do was play church! And let me tell you, their props are way cooler than mine was when I was a kid. :) Who knows.. maybe he will be a priest someday.

This is Grace's favorite part of me coming over... spa time for toes and fingers! ;)

And who doesn't love snuggle time with a 3 month old! :)

Getting to watch this special boy play soccer! #allstarinmybook

Time with friends is never a mistake.

My tulips... SPRING IS HERE!!!!

Can't get enough of them! They sure make me smile!

And if only I could put the amazing smell of these flowers into my blog. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And this past weekend was First Holy Communion for many second graders in the Catholic church. What a special day. Receiving Jesus for the very first time. Allowing Him to fill your heart with love, peace, and graces. And knowing He loves us so very much, and only wants us to love Him back. He is the Bread of Life. I think back of when I received my First Communion, being able to wear such as beautiful, white dress, and so excited to finally walk to the front of church with all the adults. (remember I was young... not fully understanding the complete importance yet) But as I grow in my faith, it is the greatest gift to receive Jesus in the Holy Eucharist. To be so close to Him. I just read this, and thought it was so perfect, but so simple. My favorite part, "We are never closer to God than in those few minutes our body receives Him." Read more at Blessed is She. I also learned at Mass that Pope Pius X, help change the age of children being able to receive Communion to around seven, back in 1910. He felt it was so important for the young to receive Jesus. To let the children come to Him. I mean, isn't that what it says in the bible, Matthew 19:14, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." So, I was lucky enough to get the day off work, and be able to celebrate with a very special family, in which, Elliot received his First Communion. It was the best day! ;)